Bruschetta for all kinds of guys

BRUSCHETTA AL POMODORO

The classic way. This recipe is for guys you know where you stand with. If you call him by a shortening of his name (Chris, Dave, Matt etc) this is probably the version for you.  My friend John often misses out the H in his name – so, Jon – this would suit him. You get the idea.  Incidentally it is pronounced broo-sketta not broo-shetta. Just wanted to get that off my chest! 

4 slices rustic bread

2 halved cloves garlic

3-4 ripe tomatoes

Good extra virgin olive oil

Lightly toast the bread. You could if so inclined, toast it in a griddle pan, which will give you lovely stripes, but will fill the kitchen with smoke and take forever. Use the toaster.

While still hot, rub the toast with the garlic halves. Dice the tomato and arrange on the toast. Season with salt & pepper and drizzle generously with olive oil. Nobody ever seems to know whether to pick these up with their hands or attempt to use a knife and fork so my suggestion is not to provide cutlery so there will be no confusion.

GOATS CHEESE & GRAPE BRUSCHETTA

I picked this recipe up in San Francisco so if he’s called Ethan or Troy, or has a name that reminds you of an Italian painter (or a teenage mutant ninja turtle) try this one:

1 log goats cheese

2 cups seedless grapes

1 cup sliced red onion

1 tbsp each of olive oil and Balsamic vinegar

Toasted rustic bread as above 

Put the oil, onion and grapes in a small baking dish and roast in a hot oven for 40 mins or so until the grapes collapse. A prod with a wooden spoon from time to time will help it on its way. Stir in the Balsamic and season.

Place a piece of goats cheese on each piece of toast and spoon the grape mixture on top. Best served warm rather than hot.

PRAWN & BEAN BRUSCHETTA

Old English names here that are always said in full – Alexander or Samuel for example, or any name that is French. This is his bruschetta: 

4 slices of bread toasted (again)

½ a 400g tin of cannellini beans
3 tbsp chilli infused oil
200g raw king prawns
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 clove garlic, crushed
2 tbsp flat leaf parsley, finely chopped

Drain the beans but reserve 2 or 3 tbsp of the juice.

Heat 1 tbsp of the oil and cook the prawns until pink. Remove and keep warm. Add the beans and liquid to the pan and break them up with a fork  or potato masher (you’re looking for lumpy, not a puree, mind). Add another spoonful of the oil, the lemon juice, parsley and salt and pepper and give it a stir, warming through.

Drizzle the last of the oil on the toast and add the bean mix, topping with the prawns. Garnish with the rest of the parsley.

Whichever version you make, have plenty of napkins handy. Bruschetta often jettison their toppings. If you keep charge of the napkins you can dab his face in a proprietory fashion while he looks at you with those naughty puppy eyes.