Raw tiger prawns – how many and how big depends upon your wallet
The best extra virgin olive oil you can afford (see above)
3-4 fat juicy cloves garlic
2 chillies
Bunch flat leaf parsleyLinguine
The ingredients are simple so don’t stint on them. Captain Dean has travelled all over the world and eaten in the finest restaurants. He probably hasn’t tried this dish though, as it’s actually a conflation of two recipes. Choose a really grassy extra virgin olive oil. It should look more green than yellow as it pours. I find Greek olive oil has more flavour than Italian, but that may be years of living in Wood Green. Anyway the oil is part of the flavour here so bear it in mind.
Prep first as any Pan Am stewardess knows. Think of this as your pre-take-off checks. Chop the garlic. Sprinkle on salt and carry on chopping, crushing it down with the side of the knife from time to time. The salt acts like grit, crushing the garlic but also absorbing its oils so you don’t lose any flavour.
Music suggestion: not Vivaldi – perhaps something Italian-American. Sinatra, or Dean Martin maybe. Something that reminds you it’s a Man’s World might mean you end up being less disappointed if he doesn’t stay the night.
Chop the chillies. Choose how strong you like them. You could choose mild ones that will warm Captain Dean in an interesting way or hot ones that will make his eyes water. It all depends on who you want to be in control in the grand scheme of things. Chop finely – you’re looking for flecks in the final dish. Colour doesn’t really matter but I think red chilli stands out against the parsley nicely. Chop the parsley finely. Curly parsley would be okay but – just don’t.
Boil up water in a big pan and add a decent amount of salt. When boiling, add the Linguine. I’m a fan of the De Cecco brand. Cook until al dente. Stir with a fork from time to time. If any sticks to the pan, it will be your fault! Captain Dean will never marry a slattern in the kitchen! (Like he’s going to marry anyone! Hahahahaha)
If your prawns need peeling – well done you in the shopping stakes!! Snap off the head, pull off the tail and peel the shell from the body. If a dark line runs along the body remove it (you don’t want to know what it’s for). Slowly heat a decent glug of olive oil in a sauté pan and gently cook the garlic and chillies. Think of warming it rather than cooking it. Add the prawns after a minute or so. The key is not to overcook. The prawns don’t want to be rubbery and the garlic still needs a bit of slightly raw bite. You’re both eating it so it won’t be embarrassing if Captain Dean does kiss you.
Drain the pasta and put it back in the saucepan. Tip the garlic, chillies and prawns in, adding all the oil from the pan. Add another glug if it needs it. Stir in the finely chopped parsley. Toss well. It’s done. Serve straight onto your plates rather than a serving dish – you seem to lose some of the coating every time you decant it. Giving Captain Dean a big plate to tuck into, rather than formal table service will make him feel at home anyway. It will invite him to tuck in and not stand on ceremony. When he’s relaxed, he just has that smile….. Feel free to melt and/or gush. It’s what he’s used to anyway.
Serve with a bottle of lightly chilled Soave. This is quite drinkable but inexpensive as Captain Dean will want to save some money for all his other lovers around the world. Make the most of your moment in the sun. Allow your hand to rest on his inner thigh. Smell his hair when he kisses you goodbye. You’re going to be living on this for a while. Make this right – ideally effortlessly, and chatting to him while he’s having his first Scotch. Wherever he spends the night, at some point he will be thinking of you – that’s small consolation though and crying into your pillow is allowed.
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